Amy trying heroin for the first time was MY doing': Blake Fielder-Civil takes responsibility for Winehouse's addiction as he opens up to Jeremy Kyle
Amy Winehouse's ex-husband Blake
Fielder-Civil has opened up about his life with the late singer in an
interview with Jeremy Kyle.
Questioned about his life with the Back To Black star, who died aged 27 in July 2011, Blake admitted he was responsible for first introducing Amy to heroin, and said he believes the drug was the main factor in causing the singer's destructive path.
Recalling the night Amy smoked the substance for the first time. Blake said: 'I'd taken it about three or four times, we were in a hotel in east London and I think I had about £10 of heroin with me, which is something I used to do after a club.
'I was smoking it on foil and
she said, "Can I try some?" I think I might have put up a weak
resistance, the fact is whatever I said she did end up having some.'
When asked by host Jeremy if that moment was the crossroads of the musician's life, he replied: 'Well, yeah.'
Blake was joined on Wednesday morning's episode of Kyle by his mother Georgette and his girlfriend Sarah Aspin, who is expecting the couple's second child together.
Appearing humble and repentant on the show, Blake, who has beaten his own addictions following a successful stint in rehab, said he regrets ever taking drugs with Amy, and feels tremendous guilt about her passing - admitting that when she died he lost his 'best friend'.
He added that while the first time Amy dabbled with heroin was 'around two months' before they wed in Miami in May 2007, she didn't get addicted straight away.
He continued: 'I've admitted that I was there when Amy had (heroin) for the first time, it was my doing, I don't think she'd ever experienced it without me ... the thing with heroin is you don't take it once and get a dependency straight away it can take quite a while to be build up a dependency.
'I got my first habit where I had to do it every day before we went to get to America to get married. So it was maybe two months after that (she needed it). We smoked, she never injected it, I did inject eventually but not with Amy, after the relationship ended.
'We were using it once a week for about two to three weeks, to then twice a week and then it gradually built up like that. One day we were laying in bed and Amy said she felt like she had a cold and I felt awful as well and I said, "I think this is withdrawal." And she said, "I'm not doing that again." Because it felt so horrible.'
Asked if he wishes he'd never
given her that first hit of heroin, he replied: 'That goes without
saying, of course. I have to be really conscious about what I say
because I don't want it to seem that I'm shirking responsibility.
'The fact is is that of course I regret it; not only just because of the damage it's caused Amy, and the loss of her life and the damage to her family, but also to my family and also to me. We've all gone through this addiction.'
Blake also revealed he was told to end the marriage by Winehouse's family - specifically her father Mitch - as well as his own family.
'He said if you love her really you'll divorce her,' he said. 'I spoke to Amy about it and we sort of agreed that it would get everyone off our backs at least you know and we'd probably re-marry.'
Blake told Kyle that he was informed of Amy's death by senior prison staff who brought him from his cell to break the news, but he could not come to terms with it and thought it must have been an internet hoax.
'And eventually I think they got the BBC up and they updated it so it was within the past minute and obviously at that point, I broke down and couldn't stop crying - and then I had to get put back in my cell.'
And when Blake finally got out of prison and turned on his phone, he found messages that he had received from Amy prior to her passing.
He said: 'When I turned the phone on they were there but there was one talking about being a godmother to my son Jack.
'We had sort of spoken in the previous weeks about her visiting me and we had had maybe one emotional phone call when we'd said, you know, are we thinking about maybe getting back together at some point.
'She said that her doctor had said to her,
you're never not going to be in love with Blake, and Amy had said "yeah I
know" and she asked me if she could come and visit me and I'd written a
letter saying "I don't know what we're going to do, of course I'm
always going to love you".
'And then we had a correspondence for about a week where we sort of ummed and aahed about it and then in the end it was sort of like what are we doing?'
Blake added that the last words Amy ever said to him were: 'You're never going to lose me'.
Sarah revealed she felt hurt by her boyfriend's betrayal and she worried he would never get over his 'toxic' love with Amy, which nearly killed him after he fell into a drug-induced coma after the anniversary of the singer's death last summer.
Asked how the experience was at the time, she sighed: 'Very difficult. I was so young and I was visiting him all the time in prison. I just think their relationship was a lot more toxic than ours.
'I didn't think he'd take his life either. I never thought for one moment he'd do that because of me and jack. I knew he'd be upset, I knew he'd be devastated. He did love her.'
Amy died in July 2011 and a second inquest found last month that she died from accidental alcohol poisoning.
Questioned about his life with the Back To Black star, who died aged 27 in July 2011, Blake admitted he was responsible for first introducing Amy to heroin, and said he believes the drug was the main factor in causing the singer's destructive path.
Recalling the night Amy smoked the substance for the first time. Blake said: 'I'd taken it about three or four times, we were in a hotel in east London and I think I had about £10 of heroin with me, which is something I used to do after a club.
Scroll down for videos
It was my doing: Blake Fielder-Civil accepted
responsibility for Amy Winehouse getting addicted to heroin as he
admitted to Jeremy Kyle that he was there when she first tried the drug
Tragic: Blake and Amy married in Miami in 2007
Blake was joined on Wednesday morning's episode of Kyle by his mother Georgette and his girlfriend Sarah Aspin, who is expecting the couple's second child together.
Appearing humble and repentant on the show, Blake, who has beaten his own addictions following a successful stint in rehab, said he regrets ever taking drugs with Amy, and feels tremendous guilt about her passing - admitting that when she died he lost his 'best friend'.
He added that while the first time Amy dabbled with heroin was 'around two months' before they wed in Miami in May 2007, she didn't get addicted straight away.
He continued: 'I've admitted that I was there when Amy had (heroin) for the first time, it was my doing, I don't think she'd ever experienced it without me ... the thing with heroin is you don't take it once and get a dependency straight away it can take quite a while to be build up a dependency.
'I got my first habit where I had to do it every day before we went to get to America to get married. So it was maybe two months after that (she needed it). We smoked, she never injected it, I did inject eventually but not with Amy, after the relationship ended.
'We were using it once a week for about two to three weeks, to then twice a week and then it gradually built up like that. One day we were laying in bed and Amy said she felt like she had a cold and I felt awful as well and I said, "I think this is withdrawal." And she said, "I'm not doing that again." Because it felt so horrible.'
Emotional: Blake appeared humble and repentant as he opened up to Kyle about his regrets
Family support: Blake was joined on the show by his mother Geraldine
VIDEO Blake describes the moment he first gave Amy Winehouse heroin
'The fact is is that of course I regret it; not only just because of the damage it's caused Amy, and the loss of her life and the damage to her family, but also to my family and also to me. We've all gone through this addiction.'
Blake also revealed he was told to end the marriage by Winehouse's family - specifically her father Mitch - as well as his own family.
'He said if you love her really you'll divorce her,' he said. 'I spoke to Amy about it and we sort of agreed that it would get everyone off our backs at least you know and we'd probably re-marry.'
Blake told Kyle that he was informed of Amy's death by senior prison staff who brought him from his cell to break the news, but he could not come to terms with it and thought it must have been an internet hoax.
Moving on: Blake is now expecting his second child with girlfriend Sarah Aspin, and has successfully completed rehab
Emotional: It all appeared a bit much for Sarah at points during the interview
He added: 'So I made them show me about six or seven websites
and each time they showed me the computer, I'm finding it harder and
harder to say no, you know.'And eventually I think they got the BBC up and they updated it so it was within the past minute and obviously at that point, I broke down and couldn't stop crying - and then I had to get put back in my cell.'
And when Blake finally got out of prison and turned on his phone, he found messages that he had received from Amy prior to her passing.
He said: 'When I turned the phone on they were there but there was one talking about being a godmother to my son Jack.
'We had sort of spoken in the previous weeks about her visiting me and we had had maybe one emotional phone call when we'd said, you know, are we thinking about maybe getting back together at some point.
Struggles: Amy had a long struggle with alcohol and drug addiction
Contrast: Amy looked much healthier and happier at the beginning of her music career back in 2004
'And then we had a correspondence for about a week where we sort of ummed and aahed about it and then in the end it was sort of like what are we doing?'
Blake added that the last words Amy ever said to him were: 'You're never going to lose me'.
Sarah revealed she felt hurt by her boyfriend's betrayal and she worried he would never get over his 'toxic' love with Amy, which nearly killed him after he fell into a drug-induced coma after the anniversary of the singer's death last summer.
Asked how the experience was at the time, she sighed: 'Very difficult. I was so young and I was visiting him all the time in prison. I just think their relationship was a lot more toxic than ours.
'I didn't think he'd take his life either. I never thought for one moment he'd do that because of me and jack. I knew he'd be upset, I knew he'd be devastated. He did love her.'
Amy died in July 2011 and a second inquest found last month that she died from accidental alcohol poisoning.
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