Why are there some women you just LOATHE on sight?
Never in my life have I met opera singer Katherine Jenkins, so why is it that whenever I see her on TV I have to switch over?
It’s nothing to do with her voice because I also shudder and say ‘Eww, don’t like that woman,’ when I see her in a newspaper, magazine or online. I don’t know her — how can I not like her?
It happened again last week when I was poring over pictures of the GQ Awards. There was Katherine looking stunning in her Stella McCartney dress yet I found myself hissing through my teeth and shaking my head.
In fairness I also reacted the
same way when I saw pictures of cyclist and Olympic gold medallist
Victoria Pendleton at the same event.
I know she’s an Olympic hero, but there’s something about her ‘poor me’, simpering attitude that really bugs me. Let’s face it, you don’t get to be an Olympic athlete without being as tough as old boots — I can only think she turns on the waterworks to suit her.
Of course, neither of these women would or should care less what a nonentity like me makes of them. I can’t hold a candle to either of them in the looks, talent or wealth stakes and, as women in the public eye, they’ll be used to being harshly judged.
But why do I feel so strongly about them? Naturally, the obvious answer — and certainly the one men will always offer — is: jealousy.
I’m jealous that they are so much more beautiful and successful than me. Undoubtedly they are, but I disagree with that theory.
Also at the GQ Awards were Kelly Brook, Jessie J and Kylie Minogue, and I have no problem with them whatsoever — and they are all as equally good looking, rich and talented.
Daily Mail writer Samantha Brick caused a sensation earlier this year when she declared that other women didn’t like her because she was too beautiful and they were threatened by her presence.
It was a bold claim to make and it certainly ruffled a few feathers but, as much as I admire Sam, I am certain there’s more to it and that it goes far deeper than mere jealousy.
I’m convinced that women have an inbuilt and finely tuned radar that allows us to pick up — on first sight — whether another woman (celebrity or otherwise) will be friend or foe.
A M I RIGHT or am I kidding myself — and deep down am I just a jealous bitch after all? ‘We all have our little foibles and envies — that’s human nature,’ says Ingrid Collins, consultant psychologist at the London Medical Centre.
‘But mostly these feelings do not stem from jealousy. If you look at someone like Marilyn Monroe, women adored her and she was the ultimate sex symbol.
‘You have to remember with celebrities that they are given or are playing up to a persona that may not be their true self.
‘But when it comes to your friends, colleagues and people you meet in everyday life, then instincts are very important, usually right and should be listened to.’
Every one of us will have walked into a
room, clocked another woman and taken an instant dislike to her before
we’ve so much as shaken hands — never mind exchanged words.
I’m not, by nature, someone who doesn’t like women. In fact, I would rather work, eat, drink and talk to a woman than a man any day — just not the ones who make my hackles rise and give me the impression they would shove me under a bus as soon as look at me.
As far as I can recall, not once has my instinct let me down. The women I’ve dismissed within seconds of encountering them have always turned out to be spiteful, untrustworthy and treacherous. Obviously, if you dish it out you have to expect to get it served back to you occasionally, and it goes without saying that sometimes I will be the woman someone walks into a room and takes an automatic dislike to.
I recognise the up-and-down look, the icy stare and the hostile body language. Luckily, the sort of women who hate me aren’t the type I’d ever want to be friends with anyway. Such poor judgment!
When it comes to men, they can be at the same party as you, in the presence of the same woman who is sending chills down your spine, and still come away saying: ‘Wasn’t she nice?’
Several
years ago I was among a group of journalists invited to meet a hugely
famous, very beautiful movie star who was in London to promote her
latest film.
There were six of us — three women and three men — and we shared the two-hour interview.
All three women, without exception, came away feeling as though we’d been locked in a deep freeze with a dangerous predator.
The men, however, emerged as dribbling, drooling wrecks, waxing lyrical about her beauty, charm and class. Why had they not seen what we had?
Ingrid says: ‘In general, women are more in tune with their instincts. You hear people talking of getting bad vibes from someone, or of them not being on the same wavelength.
‘There is something in that
because we all give off a certain energy, but it’s subtle — and women
are better at detecting and feeling it.’
Millions of years ago, a woman had to rely on her instinct to survive. She needed to know that any woman she let into her life wasn’t going to club her over the head, steal her food or — worse — her man.
Perhaps this instinct we carry is something primeval that has stayed with us from our cavewoman days.
Ingrid says: ‘The feelings you describe happen a lot with single women. Certainly, even today, there is dominance-fighting to attract the alpha male to ensure that any offspring have a better chance in life.
Millions of years ago, a woman had to rely on her instinct to survive. She needed to know that any woman she let into her life wasn’t going to club her over the head, steal her food or — worse — her man
‘This may be subconscious, but it’s occurring purely because of the animals that we are.’
It’s true that every woman from whom I get my own bad vibe — famous or otherwise — is someone who I perceive to be a ‘man’s woman’, or a ‘bloke’s bird’ to use modern-day parlance.
T hese are women I imagine to have little time for their own kind and who tolerate the company of other women only if there’s something to be gained from it.
I despise how some women transform from the intelligent, sensible beings they are into giggly, hair-twirling simpletons the second a man is in their midst.
Perhaps if I’d behaved like that a little more I wouldn’t be 45 and single — but I just can’t bring myself to dumb down in order to attract a mate, and have no respect for those who do.
On this point, however, Ingrid Collins doesn’t have much sympathy for me.
‘Someone you perceive to be a man’s woman is simply someone who has a different way of relating to the opposite sex,’ she says.
‘It’s a technique she will have learned though her family. Because it’s so different to you and how you have learned to conduct yourself around men, it can seem threatening.’
The women to whom I take an instant dislike do mostly tend to be confident, successful and powerful and have fought their way to the top. I just somehow get the feeling that the fight wasn’t entirely clean and fair.
‘There are different ways of getting to the top of the pile,’ says Dr Collins.
‘If you did it through love, support, hard work and building friendships, then it’s very likely you will recognise someone who did it by treading all over other people.’
Whatever the reasons, I’ll continue to trust the mysterious, random radar that has served so well to warn, protect and guide me.
It’s nothing to do with her voice because I also shudder and say ‘Eww, don’t like that woman,’ when I see her in a newspaper, magazine or online. I don’t know her — how can I not like her?
It happened again last week when I was poring over pictures of the GQ Awards. There was Katherine looking stunning in her Stella McCartney dress yet I found myself hissing through my teeth and shaking my head.
Seething! A woman stabs her notepaper with jealousy after glimpsing a happy girl drinking champagne
I know she’s an Olympic hero, but there’s something about her ‘poor me’, simpering attitude that really bugs me. Let’s face it, you don’t get to be an Olympic athlete without being as tough as old boots — I can only think she turns on the waterworks to suit her.
Of course, neither of these women would or should care less what a nonentity like me makes of them. I can’t hold a candle to either of them in the looks, talent or wealth stakes and, as women in the public eye, they’ll be used to being harshly judged.
But why do I feel so strongly about them? Naturally, the obvious answer — and certainly the one men will always offer — is: jealousy.
I’m jealous that they are so much more beautiful and successful than me. Undoubtedly they are, but I disagree with that theory.
Also at the GQ Awards were Kelly Brook, Jessie J and Kylie Minogue, and I have no problem with them whatsoever — and they are all as equally good looking, rich and talented.
Daily Mail writer Samantha Brick caused a sensation earlier this year when she declared that other women didn’t like her because she was too beautiful and they were threatened by her presence.
It was a bold claim to make and it certainly ruffled a few feathers but, as much as I admire Sam, I am certain there’s more to it and that it goes far deeper than mere jealousy.
I’m convinced that women have an inbuilt and finely tuned radar that allows us to pick up — on first sight — whether another woman (celebrity or otherwise) will be friend or foe.
A M I RIGHT or am I kidding myself — and deep down am I just a jealous bitch after all? ‘We all have our little foibles and envies — that’s human nature,’ says Ingrid Collins, consultant psychologist at the London Medical Centre.
‘But mostly these feelings do not stem from jealousy. If you look at someone like Marilyn Monroe, women adored her and she was the ultimate sex symbol.
‘You have to remember with celebrities that they are given or are playing up to a persona that may not be their true self.
‘But when it comes to your friends, colleagues and people you meet in everyday life, then instincts are very important, usually right and should be listened to.’
I’m
not, by nature, someone who doesn’t like women. In fact, I would rather
work, eat, drink and talk to a woman than a man any day — just not the
ones who make my hackles rise and give me the impression they would
shove me under a bus as soon as look at me
I’m not, by nature, someone who doesn’t like women. In fact, I would rather work, eat, drink and talk to a woman than a man any day — just not the ones who make my hackles rise and give me the impression they would shove me under a bus as soon as look at me.
As far as I can recall, not once has my instinct let me down. The women I’ve dismissed within seconds of encountering them have always turned out to be spiteful, untrustworthy and treacherous. Obviously, if you dish it out you have to expect to get it served back to you occasionally, and it goes without saying that sometimes I will be the woman someone walks into a room and takes an automatic dislike to.
I recognise the up-and-down look, the icy stare and the hostile body language. Luckily, the sort of women who hate me aren’t the type I’d ever want to be friends with anyway. Such poor judgment!
When it comes to men, they can be at the same party as you, in the presence of the same woman who is sending chills down your spine, and still come away saying: ‘Wasn’t she nice?’
Instant dislike? She's never met either Olympic
athlete Victoria Pendleton (left) or Welsh singer Katherine Jenkins
(right), but Claudia Coleman knows that she never wants to
There were six of us — three women and three men — and we shared the two-hour interview.
All three women, without exception, came away feeling as though we’d been locked in a deep freeze with a dangerous predator.
The men, however, emerged as dribbling, drooling wrecks, waxing lyrical about her beauty, charm and class. Why had they not seen what we had?
Ingrid says: ‘In general, women are more in tune with their instincts. You hear people talking of getting bad vibes from someone, or of them not being on the same wavelength.
There is something in that because we all give
off a certain energy, but it¿s subtle ¿ and women are better at
detecting and feeling it
Millions of years ago, a woman had to rely on her instinct to survive. She needed to know that any woman she let into her life wasn’t going to club her over the head, steal her food or — worse — her man.
Perhaps this instinct we carry is something primeval that has stayed with us from our cavewoman days.
Ingrid says: ‘The feelings you describe happen a lot with single women. Certainly, even today, there is dominance-fighting to attract the alpha male to ensure that any offspring have a better chance in life.
Millions of years ago, a woman had to rely on her instinct to survive. She needed to know that any woman she let into her life wasn’t going to club her over the head, steal her food or — worse — her man
It’s true that every woman from whom I get my own bad vibe — famous or otherwise — is someone who I perceive to be a ‘man’s woman’, or a ‘bloke’s bird’ to use modern-day parlance.
T hese are women I imagine to have little time for their own kind and who tolerate the company of other women only if there’s something to be gained from it.
I despise how some women transform from the intelligent, sensible beings they are into giggly, hair-twirling simpletons the second a man is in their midst.
Perhaps if I’d behaved like that a little more I wouldn’t be 45 and single — but I just can’t bring myself to dumb down in order to attract a mate, and have no respect for those who do.
On this point, however, Ingrid Collins doesn’t have much sympathy for me.
‘Someone you perceive to be a man’s woman is simply someone who has a different way of relating to the opposite sex,’ she says.
‘It’s a technique she will have learned though her family. Because it’s so different to you and how you have learned to conduct yourself around men, it can seem threatening.’
The women to whom I take an instant dislike do mostly tend to be confident, successful and powerful and have fought their way to the top. I just somehow get the feeling that the fight wasn’t entirely clean and fair.
‘There are different ways of getting to the top of the pile,’ says Dr Collins.
‘If you did it through love, support, hard work and building friendships, then it’s very likely you will recognise someone who did it by treading all over other people.’
Whatever the reasons, I’ll continue to trust the mysterious, random radar that has served so well to warn, protect and guide me.
评论
发表评论